Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Monday, January 29, 2007

If I was granted a wish to be in bollywood

Then I would have asked for:
1. The confidence of Amitabh
2. Eyes of Shahrukh
3. Innocence of Amir
4. Bindas of Sanju
5. Voice of Nasir
6. Emotions of Pankaj Kapur
7. Height of John
8. Body of Hrithik
9. Charm of Salman and,
10. Instincts of Nana.
Hmm! %$*^@!!)($#@...
Nah! I would look like a Orangutan then.. I am fine myself.

Ford, what you got?

Ford just posted a huge loss last quarter. I don't own one but this was the only non-Japanese car I test drove when I was looking for one. Today its cars face very stiff competition from other manufacturers. Jag is going no where, Lincoln has the same fate, Camry ate away Taurus and Civic and Corollas are not letting Focus go anywhere. Be realistic and look what you got? You simply got only two models: F-150 and Mustang - the best in their segments. Ford can bounce back if only they consolidate their production and concentrate on the leading models. Walk down Jack Welsch's path - If you are not number one or two just close or sell it.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Life of Pi

A very good book...
...Pi's father decides to relocate to Canada, sells his zoo and boards the cargo ship. In the midst of the journey the ship sinks and Pi shares a lifeboat with an injured Zebra, an Orangutan a Hyena and a Royal Bengal Tiger. Pi did not know where the tiger was so he concentrates on Hyena. Hyena begins to feed on the injured Zebra and kills the Orangutan after the Zebra dies. Pi thinks he is the next when he spots the Tiger. Tiger was hungry and kills Hyena to eat. Tiger does not immediately attacks Pi. Pi avoids direct confrontation with the Tiger and feeds him with his catch of fish thinking a healthy and fed tiger won't be a threat. Due to malnutrition Pi falls sick. He could not catch the fish anymore. He meets another castaway who jumps on Pi's boat with an intent to kill him. Tiger kills the intruder for food. Pi then washes ashore to a carnivorous island...

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

A message for ICE-T for Nakia from American Idol

ICE-T,
You did a great job with your Rap skool. You have one more to do. My heart just broke when I sawNakia's reaction today on American's Idol. Nakia was one jovial singer who did a great job with her first song and then the second went downhill. Her reaction "I am tired of hearing no in my life" just broke it. A person should never say this. Never. Please bring her the same level of confidence which you did working with your skool. There is one more kid who needs you.
-Ashish

Predicting the future

If I decide that in next ten minutes I will make a round of the building on a decided path and do it exactly the same way, then did I predict the future? If we remove the chaos from the implementation, does my decision become prediction? And if the braincells train itself based on the historic data, can it be used to extrapolate to a future event?

Monday, January 22, 2007

The guy I spam everyday...

I bug Doug Clarke so much that I send him at least one email everyday. He and Shaun are the top Toplink/JPA guys @Oracle and am glad that he blogs too.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Dada ki Jay ho (Roughly translates to Long Live Dada)

A flat batting pitch. Return of an old hand. 100 in 15. Vintage down the track Sixes. Hear that thunder? Yes Ganguly was back and so the glimpses of hope.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Monday, January 15, 2007

Awesome news!

Two names I want to see leave bollywood are now getting married... But, I know thats not gonna happen so a wedding advice: Aish - Stop doing 20yrs old casts. Do some protogonist roles but as a big sister or a good bhabhi, it will suit you better and believe me you will cherish it. And you fake stud Abhi - You suit better as a street goon type. Thats how your Dad started too. Play some characters who lives in a Mumbai slum and does odd jobs like a low level contract killer or something. You will look perfect. And btw, Stop dancing as if you were born in Jamaica. Congratulations on your belated announcement!

Saturday, January 13, 2007

What happened to Brett Lee?

Who bowled him over eh?

Friday, January 12, 2007

Whats wrong with you?

CiscoWasn't your use of iPhone had a malice intention at the first place?
RosieWhy did you pass comments on somebody's personal life? Loose canon.
DonaldYou turned out to be a loose lipped immature sophomore too.
SehwagA century against the local boys doesn't count. Go and kick yourself.
DemocratsDon't criticize if you don't have a concrete plan either.
ULFADon't become an instrument of ISI.
PhillyWhy most of the flights run late or canceled?
BangladeshChoose peace.
WorldYou can't solve your own problems, what will happen when aliens attack?
MeWhy you so lazy?

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

"The responsibility of the mistakes rests with me.."

...Only a courageous man could have said it. In retrospect, Years ago Indian peace keeping force in Sri Lanka had immense success initially but later suffered heavy casualties and had to pull out because the then Sri Lankan government who happened to invite it back-stabbed them. The success of US forces in Iraq does not depend on how Iran or Syria behaves but how the Maliki government does. Is his government serious about Iraq as a whole or just his own political agenda? The agenda of the new Iraq strategy should not only be pushing more troops but also to tighten the leash on the current Iraqi government to stay sincere. Keep in mind, a foreign force never stays a savior they eventually become the political tool and its success depends on not only how you manage the enemies but friends too.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Why am I cheap?

...Because I am not easily impressed. Even though I am a huge impulsive shopper I know its a waste of money if I spend more than my speculated prices. You will laugh at me and call me crazy but the following gadgets should not be any pricier:

mp3 player$25
32" LCD TV$250
(Advanced)Mobile phone$99
Basic laptop$100
5MP Digital camera$45
Operating System$Free$
Software Components$Free$

Monday, January 08, 2007

CTRL-ALT-DEL to restart your Ford

Did you hear the news of Ford-Microsoft software? So be ready to use CTRL-ALT-DEL to restart your Ford the next time you see the blue screen of ..?

Why has no tobacco manufacturer ever been punished?

A good statement from Baba Ramdev - One Indian Yoga guru:
"In any case what can these governments do? A Saddam can be hanged for killing 142 people. Tobacco companies manufacture death for millions every year. Has one person ever been punished," he wants to know? More

Saturday, January 06, 2007

The best chair in air

-> Its MidWest Airlines.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Tell me there are UFOs

First news: United employees including the pilots saw a UFO over O'Hare skies.
Second news: An unidentified object of the size of a golf ball fell from sky in east NJ.

So please someone tell me there are UFOs out there cuz, I want to meet its' lousy crew who keeps losing their parts. Yes I am in search of my alter ego.